I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
