why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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