Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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