Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
