I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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