Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
