some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
