I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I puked a lego.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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