Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate all girls vehemently.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
