he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
tell me about the eggs
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
