Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
