He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
