Porn is love you can see.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
