i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
