i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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