I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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