my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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