He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
