I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was born a porn star she said
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
