pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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