i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
