I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
