okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
