I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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