oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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