it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
