after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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