Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
