why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
