everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My life is pants optional.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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