So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
