So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
