even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Found the puke drawer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
