I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
