I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
