Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
