is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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