yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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