States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
