Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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