RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
