i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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