It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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