Can Purell be used as lube?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
