doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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