Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
