porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
