i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
