I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
