For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
